KaraScar

Depression is nothing. Sitting in a room for hours alone is not depression. The light coming from the windows from the streetlights in this dark room, is all I have. I could say I had more before. Before-this lamp next to me would work, I can assure you that. I can also assure you life does not come easy. As well I can assure you, even with my age being 72, my life is still not over...I am young. Most of my time I do sit here in this shadowy den. The shadows of the former living come around often. I'm not talking about ghosts, not at all. I'm talking about something else. Something you'll only notice when you've gained knowledge given fro

Countless thoughts, go through my mind, on how people would react when they hear the news that I died. What would they would say? when they see, my own name on a grave. Would they even care? I will never know I will still wonder I will never stop- How could I not think over and over about something that I will not be around to see the answer to my question? Some people in my life I will always have a sense on what they would do. I still don't grasp the truth on it all They could act different They could actually be happy from the bliss of the one person they hated for so many years in silence being gone

Just hearing your voice is afflictive. I can never help but worry and   feel the stinging feeling inside me grasping the fact of your hatred. I can just tell when you're talking or having menacing thoughts about me. Every night I desire out of this house "You're not my parent" I keep telling myself while feeling tears force themselves to be shown from my already damp eyes from the hours before I cannot help that my parents are gone I can never help that I never went with them You're not my aunt I'll never call you that I hope you remember your last moments-- I hope you remember how you could have done things better

At least I was carefree. My life-- I didn't even think of. I should thank you for coming along and for buying me those to be seen blissful drinks. One after the other. At least I was able to laugh at my 'pain'-- to see the world whirl wildly around. I should thank you for that and to be able to see my hand do this pendulum effect, I couldn't stop staring, Back and forth it kept going, even still At least those were how the lines were on the road too What majesty-- In fact I should also thank you for letting me drive, And for being in the same state I was in. What a character you were My friend, my true friend. And at